People who inspire me

Okay, Facebook has this annoying new Tri-cyclen-lo advert on about "Who Inspires Us??" --for those of you who don't know, Tri-cyclen-lo is a birth control pill. I find this kind of advertising really annoying because it implies that people who choose to wait or to never have kids (through use of this new and freedom-enhancing drug!) are making their choice because they're so inspired! The subtext is that women who don't live the freedom-enhanced lives of the young and sexually unshackled (my phrase) are somehow boring uninspired people, which is why they could think of nothing better to do wth their lives than have kids.

Now it's funny, because how ever pro-family the Orthodox church might be, one cannot deny that the majority of well known saints out there-- both male and female--are ones who chose not to have children, given that a heck of a lot of them were monastic or, my favourite, got married and chose to "live as brother and sister" when they converted to Christianity. It's not surprising that a lot of non-Christians out there seem to think that we have this mortification with sexuality. The married saints (and there are quite a few) don't get nearly as much press.

However, the BIGGEST saint in the church IS a mother. Now granted, she perhaps gets a little less credit for this than she deserves, probably because she was a virgin and according to church tradition she remained a virgin. But all the celibacy and chastity in the world didn't do her any good because she was still informed she was going to have a baby-- that the birth control failed. And she chose to deal with the consequences anyway. She could have told Gabriel "No WAY am I doing that! I've got plans!!" but she didn't and instead she risked everything and took on one of the hardest jobs a woman can do-- motherhood. And she was willing to do it whether she had to do it alone or not.

Now maybe people don't think that's a fair comparison to your average mum because after all, her son was GOD. But I don't believe for a second that she didn't have to deal with dirty, leaking swaddling clothes, or humous on the walls, or many many sleepless nights. The Bible even tells us that she was pretty darn exasperated to find that her 12 year-old had stayed behind in the temple without telling them so he could preach. And she probably had to deal with it without the help and support and sympathy of her fellow mothers because, after all, she conceived out of wedlock and was therefore to be shunned. And she still managed to keep it together and say "Let it be to me according to Your word?" That's inspiring!

In fact all the people I find most inspiring are either parents or have parental qualities that I can't ever hope to achieve in this life. My Dad-- father not only to my sister and I but to a whole parish of people that he has nurtured for the last 20+ years and continues to do. Try being daddy to 100 kids at once-- and they keep coming! But he pulls it off with patience and diligence. It's his whole life. I've never know someone to more self-sacrificing.

My mother, who has managed to be the most patient and caring wife and mother that I can imagine, not only to us, but to the parish as well. Her job is a lonely one, having to share her husband with so many people, and be a model of propriety for all the women in our parish. Besides my dad she has no close friends here because she cannot simultaneously be both mother and friend to the people in the parish. She must bear her worries and trials almost alone with only my father to confide in. And yet she manages to pull it off with grace and peace. Plus she put up with me at 13 which says a lot.

My mother in-law. 1o children and not crazy yet-- seriously. How does one DO that??? In spite of her many children and rather itinerant life she's still a gracious, patient and self-sacrificing woman.

My closest most inspiring friends, who's names I'll omit lest anyone feel left out, are not mothers, yet, but they possess qualities that are nurturing, loving and show a depth of kindness and patience that I admire and wish I could hope to emmulate some day. One is not only a loving patient friend, but also works at a daycare and knows very well how trying it can be to raise kids. The other, while inexperienced with actual children has always been a model of kindness, patience and forgiveness to all her friends and family, cheerfully nurturing many of us through the toughest times in spite of her own personal trials.

These are the people I find inspiring-- the women (and man) who impress me. Not the people who chose to skip having children because they were inspired by Hilary Clinton or whoever, but because they possess qualities of patience, kindness, love, and self-sacrifice.