Toys for Toddlers

Okay, I'm wondering if this is normal for parents. When it comes to toys for toddlers I have a lot of preferences--or I should say rules. Not about where he plays with them or when or how-- or what he chooses to make into a toy. Although my computer and a few other sensitive pieces of equipment are off limits as toys. But most other things that I don't put out of reach are completely available for him to play with (unless I happen to be using them at the time). And I don't mind him scattering toys (or wooden spoons) all over the house either. Kids do have to have boundaries, I'll grant you, but he has a lot of them already because he's just small, so as long as he's not breaking anything or hurting himself I don't really care what kind of a mess he makes. He's going to make a mess one way or the other so there's really no point in fighting it or dealing with it until after he goes to bed.

But when it comes to BUYING toys for him I'm really picky and I'm wondering if this is some kind of control issue that I have. Now don't get me wrong, I would never throw out a toy someone thoughtfully bought for him. And I probably wouldn't return or exchange it either. I might strategically forget it at the grandparents' house--especially if it makes electronic noises. And I've been known to hide really inane books behind the sofa to avoid having to read them a million times. But I probably wouldn't intentionally get rid of a toy that I thought was awful. But then I only have one kid so far and he doesn't have that many toys.

Space is at a premium in our little trailer and it's bad enough trying to keep from tripping over the stuff he does play with so if people ask me what to get him I give fairly picky answers, which can come across as very controlling and ungrateful. But my reasons are these:

First-- I know what he needs, what he likes, and what he will enjoy playing with. There's no point buying him more of the same stuff he has or stuff he won't know what to do with when I know exactly what he'll enjoy because I live with him and notice how he likes play.

Second, his toys are also my toys. I have to teach him to play with them-- meaning I have to play with them too. I have to listen to him play with them, and I have to watch him play with them. So if I hate toys that make electronic noises or happen to be really boring because they can only be used one way (and he doesn't want to use them for that) then they'll be nothing more than clutter or nuisance.

Third, I have to care for the toys. I have to clean them up and tidy them away. Some toys are easier than others. And toys that don't last long because they're made of rubbish or have lots of crevices that you'll be cleaning sweet potato out of three times a day, or have four million pieces you have to go chasing all over the house after are just no good.

Fourth, I have to think ahead about what we'll want to teach him to appreciate when he's older. And we haven't got a lot of money to spend on toys so I'm inclined to go for things that are timeless-- classic wooden blocks, cars, push carts, simple wooden train sets, wooden puzzles, play food--that sort of stuff. Stuff that you can turn into anything or imagine any game with--which is why they never go out of style.

For these reasons I'm absolutely allergic to anything licensed. Some might think me crazy for asking people not to buy him Thomas the Tank Engine, and they really aren't bad little toy trains at all (personally I find toys with faces that aren't actually dolls or animals just creepy but Greg assures me that that's just my own weird little hang-up). The trouble isn't the trains themselves. It's that they aren't just trains--they're logos. And that logo comes on everything from toddler beds to dish sets to change purses, even candy packets. People hear he loves his Thomas trains so they buy him Thomas pjs and bed spreads etc. Then my other children want the same- they all want Thomas dishes and bed sheets and table lamps and they fight over who gets what. They can all play with the Thomas trains but they can't all wear the Thomas pjs unless they all have a pair. Then of course we can't go into any store without someone asking for Thomas band aids or toothbrushes. I have to say no ten million times a day to each of my kids.

Now I realise that the kids will fight over toys whether they have Thomas on them or not. And likewise they will whine about wanting toys we pass in the mall or grocery store no matter what. And of course a day will come when they will realise that all their friends have Thomas and they don't and they'll want to get in on the action like everyone else. However, for the first few years at least, I should be able to go down the tooth paste aisle in Shoppers and avoid the requests for a new tootbrush because it has Thomas on it.

The trouble with lisenced stuff is that it's on everything. No aisle is safe. If his toys are plain and simple and logo-free he won't recognise the logo so quickly as other boys his age-- (especially because we haven't got cable). Also (and this is just a theory, but I think it's worth trying) having played with very few toys that didn't require some kind of imagination or creativity on his part, he will be less attracted by things that aren't really toys but appear to be because they carry toy logos on them. To be sure, bandaids with trains on will be more desirable than bandaids without, but, in theory, he won't spot the train-logo and instantly think--"ooh toy!"

Like I said, I only have one kid so far, so I'm bound to be proven wrong or find my big plans thwarted or come to nothing, but in the mean time at least I can enjoy not living in Thomas-land-- or Winnie-the-Pooh-ville, or Dora-and-Diego-town.